Men Are Just Happier People –What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you,He or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

NICKNAMES· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.· The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS· A woman has the last word in any argument.· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.FUTURE· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.· A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

THE 100 GREATEST GUY MOVIES OF ALL TIME
ACCORDING TO ME:

In no Particular order:

1. Die Hard (All)
2. Predator
3. Terminator (All)
4. Alien (All)
5. The Dirty Dozen
6. The Great Escape
7. Rocky (All)
8. Unforgiven
9. The Outlaw Josey Wells
10. Platoon
11. We Were Soliders
12. Pitch Black
13. True Grit (John Wayne)
14. The Cowboys
15. The Quiet Man
16. Rio Grande
17. Dirty Harry
18. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
19. Iron Man (All)
20. Happy Gilmore
21. Apollo 13
22. Pulp Fiction
23. Resovoir Dogs
24. Boondock Saints
25. Godfather
26. Goodfellas
27. Casino
28. The Untouchables
29. Star Trek: The Wrath of Kahn
30. Tombstone
31. History of the World Part 1
32. Young Frankenstein
33. Man on Fire
34. Forrest Gump
35. Se7en
36. Silence of the Lambs
37. Fight Club
38. Underworld
39. Blade (All)
40. Batman Begins (All w/ Christian Bale)
41. Hamburger Hill
42. Full Metal Jacket
43. Saving Private Ryan
44. Gran Torino
45. The Fighter
46. Gladiator
47. Braveheart
48. The Patriot
49. Scarface
50. Carlito’s Way
51. Highlander
52. The Whole 9 Yards
53. Porky’s
54. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
55. Ronin
56. Taxi Driver
57. Wayne’s World
58. Billy Madison
59. Rambo
60. Indian Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark (All)
61. Star Wars (Original 3)
62. The Bourne Identity (All)
63. Conan
64. The Longest Yard (Burt Reynolds)
65. Any Given Sunday
66. Rudy
67. Commando
68. Under Siege
69. American History X
70. Sin City
71. Enemy at the Gates
72. The Shootist
73. A Knight’s Tale
74. Road Warrior
75. Caddyshack
76. National Lampoon’s Animal House
77. Slap Shot
78. Cool Hand Luke
79. Lord of the Rings (All)
80. Last of the Mohicans
81. Monty Python’s In Search of the Holy Grail
82. The Right Stuff
83. Scent of a Woman
84. Blade Runner
85. The Bridge of the River Kwai
86. Dr. No (James Bond)
87. Sniper
88. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
89. Pyscho
90. The Searchers
91. 12 Monkeys
92. Brian’s Song
93. Jaws
94. Chinatown
95. The Karate Kid
96. Gangs of New York
97. Ghostbusters
98. The Natural
99. Groundhog Day
100.The Longest Day